Whoever said time is a great healer may have had a point, thought Woody, as he sat in the dark of the shoebox that had served as his home for the last 12 months or so. Sure, he had had to leave the toybox in Oxford where, only a few short years ago, he and the Spaceman had dreamed such wonderful dreams. And as for giving up his deluxe ‘forever’ toybox, complete with its stable for Bullseye, well, he didn’t even want to talk about that …
And yet, within himself, Woody was feeling a whole lot better than when he and Forky – the only one of the gang that had stayed with him through those long, dark months – had first moved into the shoebox. For he had a sense of purpose once more: tomorrow was not just a brand new day – it was the brand new day he would let everyone know he was back to reclaim his place as the best-loved toy in the whole wide world.
Not that, even at his lowest point, Woody had lost sight of the bigger picture: he was a toy and what’s the point of a toy if you’re not being loved? Granted, the Oxford toybox venture hadn’t gone quite as he and the Spaceman might have wished. All that love they had attracted at the start had almost gone – in fact it would have gone completely if they hadn’t cleverly removed the Get-Out Claws so the little people couldn’t escape.
Read Fund Story 2: The return of Woody – Pt2 here
And yet, deep down in his stuffing, Woody knew it had all been one big misunderstanding. No matter what all those other toys claimed – the ones like his former cheerleader Jeffy, who spent their lives writing, and those like Gabby Gabby, who spent their lives talking, and especially that awful little pig with his awful little Hammorama programme – he wasn’t really to blame for anything, was he?
Woody had taken people’s love and he had worked hard to create even more – and he would have succeeded too, if it hadn’t been for those pesky … well, those pesky everyone. Not just his beloved Jeffy – oh, sweet Jeffy – but that naughty Linky the ACD (Anatomically Curious Dog); his PR, Puffosaurus Rex; the toy catalogues that deserted him one by one … the list was endless (or at least enough to fill three previous columns on PA, Ed.)
But if he was to blame, then wouldn’t someone have come along by now to give him a well-deserved smack on his bottom? Yes, Big Baby – with her one eye perpetually stuck looking backwards, whose job it was ensure every toy behaved himself, herself or itself – had talked a lot about administering a spanking. That was a terrifying prospect indeed, Woody shuddered, but he remained gratifyingly able to sit down.
There had been similar talk too among Big Baby’s bosses at the House of Rules, yet no spanking had emerged. Instead, A Very Big Spanking Indeed seemed to be heading the way of Linky – quite rightly so, in Woody’s opinion, given how the withdrawal of the little dog’s friendship had marked the beginning of the end – and this was courtesy of some new characters with unfamiliar names, such as Classy McAction and Kareer Kaboom.
There had even been talk this lot had the Bristol Toy Barn in their sites – a regrettable state of affairs, thought Woody, as the shop had stood by him longer than most. But was it really his fault he was so darn lovable they had not just included him in the hallowed pages of the Bristol Toy Barn Catalogue but also put him into their ‘List of Our Very Favourite Toys’ and thus into their actual store window?
No, as Woody saw it, the problem he faced was not his ability to attract love and generate more love – that, after all, was what the Great Toymaker had put him on this earth to do – it was how best to set about turning what for so long had looked like a full stop into a comma. In his wildest dreams, however, he had never expected him to come knocking on the side of the shoebox. “Woody?” whispered a familiar voice. “I have an idea for a sequel.”
To be continued …
You can read Fund Story 2: The Return of Woody – Part 2 here. To catch up on the original Fund Story – Woody’s Round-up, please click on Part 1, Part 2 or Part 3
