“Oh Fork,” sighed Woody. “Is it possible I’m just being paranoid?” “Absolutely not,” replied Forky. “People really are out to get you.” Woody frowned. Forky had been the only one of his gang who had stayed with him through those long, dark months in the shoebox that now served as home – and he really did appreciate that. Forky’s inclination towards the unvarnished truth, however – well, that was rather less to Woody’s taste.
Still, if he was honest with himself, his triumphant return to the one thing he felt qualified to do – attracting love from the whole wide world – was not going quite as he had envisaged it would when he and the Spaceman had first started discussing getting the band back together. “Are you sure the band would be playing a tune people still wanted to hear?” Forky had chirped up from his corner of the shoebox. But they had ignored him.
Ever since his Big Announcement in the Sunday Toygraph, though, people had been so terribly mean. Far from welcoming him back with open arms, as the Spaceman had assured him would happen, Jeffy and the others had written some very hurtful things while Big Baby, whose job it was to ensure every toy behaved themselves, had finally unstuck her one eye that always looked backwards and it was now staring very firmly in his direction.
Read Fund Story 2 – The return of Woody, Pt1 here
Worse, when he and the Spacemen had tried an alternative route back into people’s hearts, they had forgotten about Big Baby’s little friend, the Musical Jersey Chimp. As soon as it spotted what they were up to, it started merrily banging its little cymbals together – and hadn’t stopped since. And as for that horrid Ladybird book about him that was soon to be published, Built out of Jenga … no, Woody did not even want to think about that.
Oh dear – perhaps it was time to accept the possibility that Forky might just have a point. “Forky?” he sad softly. “Why does nobody love me anymore? I used to be the best at what I did. Jeffy used to call me ‘the rootinest tootinest cowboy in the mid, mid-west of England’ – and I still have all that to offer. I just want to continue to do the things I believe in. I just …” “Oh – I, I, I,” snapped his little plastic friend.
“I’m sorry?” asked Woody in surprise. “First time I’ve ever heard you say that,” said Forky pointedly. “I meant it as in ‘You what now?’,” Woody clarified. “I know you did,” Forky sighed. “But perhaps one day … anyway, what I meant is that it’s always ‘I, I, I’ and ‘me, me, me’ with you. When will you understand it’s not what you do that people are upset about … it’s the way you ended up doing it? You broke the First Rule of Toyland.”
“Careful,” warned Woody. “You’re on dangerous ground with me and breaking rules.” “I know,” Forky quickly acknowledged. “But I think I can make this work. The First Rule of Toyland is ‘It’s not about you but those who love you’ – I’m sure you used to know that but somewhere along the way you forgot. Just take the name on the toybox in Oxford – what was that?” “Woody’s Toybox,” Woody replied, smiling at the memory.
“And what have you been planning to call your new toybox?” Forky prompted. “Woody’s … New Toybox,” Woody replied, suddenly rather less proud. “You see?” sighed Forky. “There’s no humility … no apparent understanding of how anyone else might feel. People gave you love and you stopped giving it back. The irony here is that you are seeking redemption when … well, please feel free to add your own punchline.”
“So what do I do,” said Woody. “How do I stop 2019 becoming the epitaph of my career?” “I think you just have to get with the times,” Forky shrugged. “I don’t mean like Mr Potato Head just has by rebranding himself as the gender-neutral ‘Potato Head’ – this has got to be something deeper. Read the room … empathise. There may be a time for a comeback but I’m pretty sure that time isn’t now.” “I don’t know,” said Woody, doubtfully. “It doesn’t sound like me.” “Won’t you even try?” his little friend pleaded. “Please … for me. For Fork’s sake.”
So the years went by
I stayed the same
But they began to drift away
I was left alone
Still I waited for the day
When they’d say, “I will always love you”
You can read Fund Story 2: The Return of Woody – Part 1 here. To catch up on the original Fund Story – Woody’s Round-up, please click on Part 1, Part 2 or Part 3
