“Oh … er … hi Nicky … where’s your grandfather?” I stammered as the forever-nine-year-old granddaughter of the chairman of the insignificantly-sized investment company Kermitted Asset Management appeared on my computer screen. To be clear, the surprise was not that she was filling in for him – she will often take his place at even the most important meetings – it is just that she tends not to consider me a remotely important meeting.
“And a very good morning to you too,” she said primly. “I’m so sorry,” I began again. “Good morning, Nicky. How are you? How’s Adair? How’s the business end of running Kermitted?” “We are well, thank you, all things considered,” she replied. “Business is pretty good too – aside from the one Adair-sized fly in the ointment, which also explains why Grandpa isn’t around for your little chat.” “Oh no,” my heart sank.
“Tell me he’s not off trying to intercede with Russia via his various oligarch chums?” “No, he is not,” snapped Nicky. “Not least because we are a bona fide ESG operation and no longer have ‘oligarch chums’, as you put it. No, Grandpa is where he has been every day for the last two weeks – picketing Morningstar’s offices in protest at the company removing more than a thousand funds from its ‘sustainable’ list – including guess whose.”
“Ah,” I said. “I was wondering how that might affect your business model.” “Aren’t you journalists supposed to do more than merely wonder about such things?” asked Nicky, pointedly raising an eyebrow. “Anyway, I won’t lie to you,” she continued. “Going – in the space of just one morning – from a business that runs 20 sustainable funds to one that, at least in Morningstar’s eyes, runs none has been a challenge.
Read more from the chairman (if you have nothing better to do): Froggy-come-lately
“Nevertheless, we are dealing with it in our usual way.” “So you’re hunting down a pragmatic compromise while your grandfather attempts a series of ever-more outlandish stunts?” I checked. “Pretty much,” she nodded. “When Morningstar told us the major sticking point was the ‘ambiguous language’ in our funds’ legal filings, Grandpa’s instinctive reaction was that we had not been ambiguous enough.
“You know – maybe we had aimed too high and perhaps should have marketed a range of ‘Greenish’ funds instead. I on the other hand suggested we actually tighten up our language on the basis that would – let us say – buy us some time. By that stage, though, Grandpa was halfway out the door while pulling on his coat and muttering something about a hunger strike.”
“A hunger strike?” I repeated. “Good grief – how long was he planning for this protest to last?” “Judging by the way the Morningstar people struggled to keep a straight face at our ensuing meeting, I think they may have come to a similar conclusion,” Nicky sighed. “Anyway, I left Grandpa and Adair to wage their one-man-and-his-rodent campaign against what they see as restraint of trade and headed back to mind the ranch.”
“Business as usual, then,” I observed. “Indeed,” she nodded. “Well, since we have this unexpected opportunity,” I changed tack, “can I get your thoughts on how asset management is evolving as both a career and an environment for women?” “By all means,” Nicky replied. “Though I would quickly add that my age and the nepotistic nature of my employment may not make my experience hugely representative.
“Still, I would broadly agree with a number of the observations Unigestion’s Fiona Frick made in your profile you kindly let me sneak a peak at. My grandfather aside, perhaps, ESG really has added a more human and appealing aspect to the industry and the growing number of women in this business has definitely fostered a greater sense of community, which should have the added benefit of being self-reinforcing into the future.
“Where I do slightly part company – and I confess this may be down to my special interest in fictional characters from the world of investment – is in the negative influence the likes of Gordon Gekko and Jordan ‘Wolf’ Belfort will have had on women joining the industry. Am I not right in hoping men and women might find such characters equally repellent?” “Well, you are certainly right to that hope that,” I replied carefully.
